can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
