You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
