Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
