Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
