nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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