Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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