dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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