I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
