The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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