Are we in a gay sports bar?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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