I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
