so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
