he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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