Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
