I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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