physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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