Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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