I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
