put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
