Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
too bad you live with your parents still
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
