After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
