There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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