I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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