i permit you to call me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I skipped work to stalk him.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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