Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
