at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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