is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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