So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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