he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
