you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
