Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize