I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
