The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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