I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize