I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
