i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
