Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize