somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
well you can't waste a boner
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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