Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
