I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
