Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do herpes really smell.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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