Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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