It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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