That's when you crack a 10am beer
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you will always have a special place in my vag
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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