If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
