its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
