More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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