I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
