And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
