So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
