My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I see more hoeing in ur future
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