dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
