My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it's not cheating when I paid for it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
