: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
