Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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