Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
