the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
