I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
