so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
