he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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