Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
