Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize
