I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
