I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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