There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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