The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
